The last killer agent we want to identify in this series is selfishness. Selfishness is behind a long list of marital problems, from infidelity to outright murder.
A lot of times in marriage we subconsciously focus on our own needs. Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. Can you honestly say that your opinion was entirely selfless? If so, kudos to you!
In Romans 12: 1 the Bible says
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (KJV)
While Paul was undoubtedly speaking about our walk with God, the same concept can be applied to resolving or preventing marital conflicts. Just think:
What if both husband and wife continuously sacrificed their own desires to please the other spouse?
I’ve often remarked that love is selfless (see my post on Crushing the Self-Love Bug). Instead of focusing on what you want to do or on who’s in-laws you want to visit (or … don’t want to visit), focus on your spouse’s feelings. Make a living sacrifice of yourself by giving into your husband or your wife’s desires instead of your own.
If each spouse does that on a continuous basis, don’t you think that would make a world of difference?
I certainly do.
Have a happy marriage. 🙂
Have thoughts or comments? I’m all ears.