One of the biggest mistakes that a husband or wife can make is to keep secrets. Before you get married, establish a cardinal rule of complete honesty.
Promise each other that you will keep no secrets— no matter how difficult the situation or how uncomfortable talking about it might make yourself or your spouse feel. If you’re already married make this a part of your relationship.
I remember telling my wife, in a sweet way, that I didn’t like the way she cooked our dinner when we first got married. I’m smiling now at the memory and even then it was something we could both kind of smile about. My comment wasn’t intended as an insult but it was in keeping with our “no secrets” policy.
Why do we take this so seriously?
The answer might seem obvious, but it really isn’t. Each partner in a marriage needs to know that they can trust the other party. Trust is built upon transparency.
There was a time in my marriage where I was really struggling with an emotional problem and I told my wife about it. While it was hard for her to deal with, she pushed past her own emotions and reached out to help me deal with my own. We came through the issue successfully together with a stronger bond than we had previously.
One of the keys to our success was the fact that she knew I was not going to hide anything from her. I was not going to try to “do it alone” and, by bringing my spouse into the picture, I had someone to talk to about the situation and someone to pray with me.
Every couple must be tested in various ways but communicating about the problem(s) is definitely a step in the right direction.
Take home message:
Don’t hide anything from your spouse, no matter how bad it is. This, more than anything else, puts your relationship at risk. Be honest and transparent which will lay a good foundation for trust.
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