Real Love Pt 2: Crushing the “Self-Love Bug.”


“…{Love} does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, ” 1 Cor. 13:5a NKJV

Think of the last romantic movie you watched. If it’s like most of what Hollywood portrays, the guy and girl (hopefully)  are oozing unrealistic versions of happiness. Maybe they’ve stolen someone else’s husband, or are on their second, third, or even fourth marriage. Perhaps they’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better to live together without being married. “You do you” is the popular slogan.

In my last post, A Fresh Look at Real Love, I focused  on love as a means of going beyond our own pain. Today, I’d like to zero in on the selfless nature of love itself.

Our society has completely inverted the idea of love so that instead of being selfless, we have redefined love to be selfish. I like to think about it like a virus called the “self-love bug.” The general attitude is: “If it makes me feel good, I’ll do it.”

The Bible tells us that real love is actually about the other person and not ourselves.

True love isn’t about doing what pleases us or what is best for us; it’s about seeking what is best for someone else.

What does this mean in terms of a relationship?  Essentially, the husband seeks what is best for the find-the-beauty-of-relationship-in-crisis-momentwife and she does the same to him. Your world, quite literally, revolves around the person you’re committed to. Sounds simple? It’s actually quite tough to put into practice.

In many cases loving selflessly causes us to deny ourselves the things we want. From a parenting perspective, maybe there are dream vacations you know you’ll never take because the kids need to go to college. Love causes you to make sacrifices for them. In marriage, maybe you’re not into hiking but your husband is. Love should push you in the direction where you’ll go with him.  The joy of truly loving selflessly lies in the act of giving up of ourselves to see that other person fulfilled.

Action step:

Look at the way you treat those you love (spouse, family, etc..). and come to your own conclusions as to whether you’re living for  them or for you. Then take a few days and go beyond your own comfort zone. You might be surprised at how much you like the results. 

JP Robinson

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  1. I’m glad I found your other post in the community pool. Your take on love and marriage is refreshing from all the negative connotations that have been put on it. What I love about this post is that it reminded to be more selfless. I smiled thinking of the time my bf walked with me through a museum for hours and I had no idea he wasn’t really into museums lol totally thought he loved it too but he loved being there for me. It was a little thing but selfless nonetheless. This post is awesome.


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