The way a husband and wife communicate will have a tremendous impact on their relationship. While developing strong communication skills takes time, patience and a lot of love on both the man and woman, there are a few concepts that every husband should verbalize consistently to his wife. Ladies, feel free to weigh in on this too!
5. You are amazed by her beauty.
A woman’s confidence is often impacted by the words and non-verbal cues that her husband uses when speaking about her. The incessant bombardment of long-legged, big-busted stripteases that are plastered on billboards, magazines and in movies does not help increase the average wife’s confidence-especially after children come into the picture. Simply NOT expressing these concepts can make your wife feel less attractive to you which will impact various aspects of your relationship, including your sex life.
Action step: Tell your wife that she’s sexy, ravishing or some other adjective to let her know that you find her appealing.
4. She is valued.
A wife’s needs go beyond sex appeal to knowing that she is valued for more than her cooking/cleaning/child-raising abilities. I do not mean to devalue those skills-frankly, I believe that contemporary American society does not place enough value on a wife’s domestic skills-but your wife needs to know that she means a lot to you for who she is rather than what she can do. Do you compliment her intelligence? Do you thank her for just listening to you when you’re having a bad day? Do you listen to her talk or tune her out? All of these and more send signals to a woman that she is valued by her husband.
Action step: Each day this week tell your wife in different ways that you value her for more than what she does around the house.
3. She is the only woman you need/want.
Feelings of marital instability are all too common and, with the growing acceptance of sexual activity outside of marriage, it is easy to understand why. Your wife needs to know that you are completely satisfied with her-in bed and out of it. Verbalize, with your words and actions, how content you are with who she is as a person. Show her that no other woman can compare to her in your eyes; that she’s already eclipsed the competition. This on-going reassurance will boost her confidence and your wife will feel more free to express herself to you. This can also spark a reciprocation of satisfaction, making her express to you that you are the only man that she needs/wants.
Your wife may not be perfect, but she is perfect for you. She needs to know this.
Action step: Write a note/send a text/whisper in your wife’s ear something that clearly tells your wife that there is no one in this world you’d rather have at your side.
2. You are & will always be there for her.
Too often we lose sight of the fact that our spouse is supposed to be another part of ourselves. The Bible illustrates that the “two shall be one flesh.” Have you ever tried separating yourself from yourself? Doesn’t really work so well. 🙂
Your wife needs to know that, not only does your relationship bring a physical union, but that your spiritual union means that you will always have her back. Whenever she needs support or encouragement that you will be there to provide it. Whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on, you will be there. Whenever she needs to talk or direction, you’ll provide non-critical support. This attitude takes the idea of oneness to a whole new dimension.
Divorce rates may be rising but that doesn’t have to be your story. The idea of raising a family alone is frankly scary. Make sure your wife knows that as long as you live, she will never have to walk through life alone.
Action step: Hold your wife’s hand tonight and loving let her know that you will never abandon her but, come what may, you’ll be there with her.
1. You love her unconditionally.
Love has several amazing components, one of which is its ability to triumph over all circumstances. Your wife may hurt you, she may say things that both she and you regret, but love allows us to pick up the pieces and move on. Love doesn’t stop us from being hurt but it does give us the willingness to heal ourselves and others. Invest in your relationship by expressing to your wife that you will love her no matter what happens. What could be better than that?