There’s no debate on the constant presence of sexual influences in our society. From entertainment to marketing to food (Simply Naked Chips?), America is obsessed with sex. The influx of sexual influences coupled with advanced internet technology and the breakdown of moral standards have made premarital sex the norm. Waiting until marriage for sexual intimacy is becoming increasingly rare despite efforts by clubs and organizations to stem the tide.
The modern reality is that premarital sex is not only popular among secular couples, but it has become much more common among couples who profess Christianity.
What does God think about this?
Premarital sex and cohabitation (commonly known as “living together”) are both sinful and totally out of the will of God. Having sex before marriage is actually a very selfish choice and Christians should not engage in such lifestyles under any circumstances. Let’s look at this from four angles: Scripture, the impact on self, society and future relationships. This post will express the Scriptural view and the impact on self. I’ll discuss the others separately.
The Bible is the inspired record of God’s thoughts. Words are thoughts that have been expressed. We know what’s in God’s mind based on what He wrote through the prophets. Paul, the major messenger of the early church, wrote:
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: EPHESIANS 5:4-8 KJV
There’s no question about it: God is against premarital sex. He goes so far as to command that it not happen even ONCE among Christians and states that those who engage in it will be kept outside His kingdom unless of course they repent and turn to God.
Furthermore, Christians who have premarital sex are setting a huge stumbling block before the sinner. Why should a man or woman who doesn’t know Christ become a Christian when you-the Christian-are doing exactly what he or she does?
Christians are to be the light of the world; we are to be the example of holiness, kindness and all that is good in God. We obviously make mistakes but that does not give us the right to sin willfully and say “God is forgiving and will understand.”
The Bible also warns that in the last days, people would turn the Grace of God into lasciviousness-or use the greatness of God’s grace as an excuse to do whatever they want to do.
Think about it:
If Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself for you, can’t you sacrifice your passions and lusts for Him?
I once read an article which stated that a staunch Muslim refused to become a Christian because his religion held him to higher standards and made him live a more moral life than Christians lived. Metaphorically speaking, if you keep a Bible on your dresser and condoms in your drawer, you are hindering the cause of Jesus Christ-not helping it. And based on the Scriptures above, God does not think it’s okay.
Impact on Self:
Who you have sex with is a big decision and one that actually impacts the rest of your life. Unfortunately it’s one that many people hardly even think about as one-night stands and sex parties prove. When you have sex with someone, it’s not just a physical act-it’s also spiritual. A part of you unites with that person and you become one being. That is why sex can be such an emotional act, even sometimes helping husbands and wives settle arguments!
It’s a gift that’s supposed to be given to the person that pledges his or her life to
you. Imagine that you were given the Mona Lisa painting which hangs in the Louvre, France. What if, instead of treasuring this priceless object, you were to toss it in the trash or leave it outside in the rain to be ruined?
Sounds ridiculous, right?
That’s what happens engage in sex outside of marriage. When you have sex with someone you’re not married to, you are tossing the gift of your body and purity away. Guilt, shame and regret are the results of this union-not love and not happiness.
I once asked a group of young Hispanic women if they’d prefer that their future husband respect them or not. Without hesitating these teenagers said they wanted “their man” to respect them. My response was: “then you need to show him that you’re worthy of his respect.”
When a woman does not respect herself enough to avoid sleeping with a man she’s not married to, she sends a signal that she does not respect herself and therefore is not worthy of his respect.
Think about it: no man will pay for what he can get for free. If a man really loves you, why would he be afraid to commit himself to you in marriage? If you are giving yourself to him “for free” why should he commit himself to you?
Abstaining from sex is hard in this time-I know. But the rewards are worth it. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Your husband or wife will have the joy of being the first to really know every part of you. What could be sexier than that?
- You bring God’s blessing upon your life and relationship.
- Since having sex outside of marriage is a ticket to hell, avoiding this kind of lifestyle should put a sparkle in your eye. This is not to say that all abstain from sex before marriage are going to heaven only that God promises that no one who does engage in that lifestyle will be there if they don’t repent.
Please note that if you have made the choice to engage in premarital sex, you can still turn things around. The power of the Blood of Christ can remove that stain from your life. From this point on make the right choice and live clean.
If you liked this post please share and keep an eye out for my next posts on this topic: The Price of Free Sex, the Lie of Lust and the Safe Sex Conundrum.
I’m looking forward to your comments!