First of all I want to thank you for taking the time read this and previous posts! There’s a lot of information out there and the fact that you’d take the time to read my article means a lot to me. I’ll always try to keep my posts short and to the point.
There are a lot of times when we feel that what we’re saying “goes in one ear and out the other” but our communication doesn’t need to be that way.
In Proverbs 15:23, God , through Solomon, makes a profound statement: “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”
If you’re like me, you’ve probably often said “Oh, I wish I hadn’t said that!” or something on that order. The reality is that although we humans know that we should think before we speak it’s rare that we actually do! If we do actually think about what we’re about to say before our thoughts become words our thoughts are often self-centered and not other-centered.
If we want to say the right word at the right time, let’s apply the following four things:
Use God’s Word as your filter. Is what we’re thinking right according to the Bible? Words of human jealousy, anger, selfishness, rebellion and spite automatically get filtered out here. They just don’t fit in with the way God speaks or the way He wants His children to speak.
Is what you’re about to say going to help the other person or just give vent to your feelings? If it’s the latter, then your words are self-centered and not other-centered. Sometimes the truth is hurtful and we need to say it, but make sure you’re not saying the truth just to “get even” or to “bring down” someone else but to “edify” or build someone else love.
It’s often been said that “timing is everything” and that’s true for the words we use as well. If we can’t speak to someone without willfully trying to hurt them, then perhaps it’s not the right time. Pray until you get enough control to confront the situation in a positive manner and not just to “vent.”
When you’re talking to someone, put yourself in his/her shoes. Try to feel how they must feel hearing the words that you are saying. If you were hearing the words instead of saying them, would you say the same thing and in the same way or would you change what’s coming out of your mouth.
The golden rule of doing unto others what we would have them do unto us also carries over to what we say. Approach someone and speak to them in the tone and mindset that you would like them to approach you. Then watch their visual and verbal responses to help guide you speak to their heart and not just their ears.
Right now you might be thinking something like: “who does this? It takes so much time!”
I know it sounds like a lot but if you make this approach part of your daily talk, you’ll find that you’re able to do it in microseconds. It’s just a quick check before you express what’s on your mind. Like all things, the more you practice, the better you’ll be.
Does this approach guarantee that you’ll get through to everyone you talk to? No, but it can help you get through to some. In times when you need to have your big conversations, this guide might just give you the little push that you need to avoid just talking to someone’s ears and really talk to their heart.
Give me feedback by posting a comment.